Tuesday, October 14
at 1:52 p.m.
i like McDonald’s.
it's my favourite fast-food joint hands down. it's fries are incomparable. it's a place where many of my greatest memories began. right. when i was kid, i used to go to Mickey D's for two reasons: the Happy Meal Toy and those funky Styrofoam boxes the food used to come in. that way, i got some cool action figure and a space ship for him to ride in. (all cool action figures are male. deal with it.) but then they got rid of the Styrofoam boxes and i became too old to get a happy meal. how sad. i think my favourite toys were the Batman Returns series and the Spiderman series. the Muppets hockey players were cool too, but you had to pay extra for those. unfortunately, i am also now too tall to play in the PlayPlace. where has my youth gone?
i like to laugh.
i often do so even if i really don't get the joke. heck, everyone does it, but i'm willing to admit it. so next time you speakers of the Indian language tell a joke in your language, chances are, i won't understand most of it. but i'll laugh anyway. so sue me.
i like girls.
surprise, surprise. actually, i would like to speak of one particular girl i do not like. unfortunately, i don't know her name. this afternoon, after a particularly engaging physics lecture i was walking up St. George, on my way to the subway station. as i passed by a girl and a guy standing on the side walk, the girl said, "Ooooh, you're so sexy." i thought she might be speaking to someone else, but she was looking right at me. now, i don't go around cat calling people, do i? in fact, i usually walk around with my eyes focused on the sidewalk, trying to avoid the cracks. actually that's not true, but i most certainly do not make fun of people out loud. i do it in my head.
now, i present a song that blends all three elements of my post: McDonald's, laughter and a girl. but please be assured, i am NOT in love with the McDonald's Girl.
McDonald's Girl
Dean Friedman
I am in love with the McDonald's Girl
She has the smile of innocence oh so tender and warm.
I am in love with the McDonald's Girl
She is an angel in a polyester uniform
I leave from softball practice every night
It's getting dark but the golden arches light up the way.
I turn the corner at the traffic light.
I count my money and then I rehearse what I'm gonna say,
"I'd like an order of fries, a quarter pounder with cheese,
I love the light in your eyes. Will you go out with me please?"
I am in love with the McDonald's Girl
She has the smile of innocence oh so tender and warm.
I am in love with the McDonald's Girl
She is an angel in a polyester uniform
She doesn't try to impress anyone
She's doesn't act real tough like all the other girls that I know.
She don't treat me like a simpleton.
She's not afraid to be the only other virgin I know.
And when my hamburgers cold, I get up ready to go,
She's only 15 years old, and I'm in love with her soul.
I am in love with the McDonald's Girl
She has the smile of innocence oh so tender and warm.
I am in love with the McDonald's Girl
She is an angel in a polyester uniform
it's my favourite fast-food joint hands down. it's fries are incomparable. it's a place where many of my greatest memories began. right. when i was kid, i used to go to Mickey D's for two reasons: the Happy Meal Toy and those funky Styrofoam boxes the food used to come in. that way, i got some cool action figure and a space ship for him to ride in. (all cool action figures are male. deal with it.) but then they got rid of the Styrofoam boxes and i became too old to get a happy meal. how sad. i think my favourite toys were the Batman Returns series and the Spiderman series. the Muppets hockey players were cool too, but you had to pay extra for those. unfortunately, i am also now too tall to play in the PlayPlace. where has my youth gone?
i like to laugh.
i often do so even if i really don't get the joke. heck, everyone does it, but i'm willing to admit it. so next time you speakers of the Indian language tell a joke in your language, chances are, i won't understand most of it. but i'll laugh anyway. so sue me.
i like girls.
surprise, surprise. actually, i would like to speak of one particular girl i do not like. unfortunately, i don't know her name. this afternoon, after a particularly engaging physics lecture i was walking up St. George, on my way to the subway station. as i passed by a girl and a guy standing on the side walk, the girl said, "Ooooh, you're so sexy." i thought she might be speaking to someone else, but she was looking right at me. now, i don't go around cat calling people, do i? in fact, i usually walk around with my eyes focused on the sidewalk, trying to avoid the cracks. actually that's not true, but i most certainly do not make fun of people out loud. i do it in my head.
now, i present a song that blends all three elements of my post: McDonald's, laughter and a girl. but please be assured, i am NOT in love with the McDonald's Girl.
McDonald's Girl
Dean Friedman
I am in love with the McDonald's Girl
She has the smile of innocence oh so tender and warm.
I am in love with the McDonald's Girl
She is an angel in a polyester uniform
I leave from softball practice every night
It's getting dark but the golden arches light up the way.
I turn the corner at the traffic light.
I count my money and then I rehearse what I'm gonna say,
"I'd like an order of fries, a quarter pounder with cheese,
I love the light in your eyes. Will you go out with me please?"
I am in love with the McDonald's Girl
She has the smile of innocence oh so tender and warm.
I am in love with the McDonald's Girl
She is an angel in a polyester uniform
She doesn't try to impress anyone
She's doesn't act real tough like all the other girls that I know.
She don't treat me like a simpleton.
She's not afraid to be the only other virgin I know.
And when my hamburgers cold, I get up ready to go,
She's only 15 years old, and I'm in love with her soul.
I am in love with the McDonald's Girl
She has the smile of innocence oh so tender and warm.
I am in love with the McDonald's Girl
She is an angel in a polyester uniform
